Just Engaged? An Alternative Guide to Wedding Planning

Katie McMillan
Jan 11
4 min read

Engaged Over the Holidays? First of all - Congrats 🖤

If you got engaged over the festive period (Christmas, New Year, or somewhere between a cheese board and your third tipple), welcome to the “oh wow, this is real now” phase.

January is peak engagement season, but for couples planning something a little less cookie‑cutter, the usual advice can feel a bit off. If muted tones and rustic decor aren't your vibe, we've got you.

This guide is for couples who want something different, a wedding that actually feels like you.

Two hands gently hold each other, one wearing a gold engagement ring with a blue stone. Soft focus background with red and white hues creates a romantic mood.

Photo: Alt Wedding Co

Step One: Forget the Rules (Seriously)

Before creating spreadsheets, viewing venues and working out a budget, take a breath.

Alternative wedding planning starts by forgetting the traditional rulebook. You don’t need:

- A strict order of events

- A wedding party if you don’t want one

- A white dress (or any dress)

- A wedding that makes your mum’s friend happy

Instead, ask:

- What do we want this day to feel like?

- Do we want a party, a private elopement, a ritual or all three?

- Who do we actually want there?

These answers will shape everything else.

Maddie Farris Photography | Electric Blue Photo + Film

Step Two: Rethink the Budget (Not Bigger - Smarter)

Budgets don’t have to be boring or restrictive. For alternative couples, the sweet spot is in prioritising what matters.

Spend more on:

- An incredible photographer who gets your vibe

- Food that feels intentional (street food, pop‑ups, private chefs)

- Entertainment that isn’t a standard wedding DJ

Spend less (or nothing) on:

- Traditions you don’t connect with

- Matching things for the sake of it

- Trends you’ll cringe at in five years

Pro tip: smaller guest lists often unlock cooler venues and more creative freedom.

Gem Wright Photography | Illustration by Kiwi, Gem Wright Photography | The Wedding Witch

Step Three: Find Your Kind of Venue

Alternative weddings thrive in unexpected spaces.

Think:

- Warehouses & industrial spaces

- Art galleries & studios

- Outdoor locations with legal or symbolic ceremonies

- Independent pubs, breweries & wine bars

- Festival‑style venues

The best venues for non‑traditional weddings don’t just allow creativity - they encourage it.

Electric Blue Photo + Film | Kickass Gatherings | The Giraffe Shed, Photos by Hash

Step Four: Choose Suppliers Who Actually Get It

This is where most couples feel overwhelmed, but where your wedding can really come to life.

Look for suppliers who:

- Showcase diverse, real weddings

- Use inclusive language

- Don’t push tradition by default

- Feel like pals, not salespeople

Photographers, florists, celebrants, stylists and more - your team should feel like your people.

This is exactly why alternative wedding fairs and directories exist: to connect couples with creative suppliers who already get what you’re trying to do.

Gem Wright Photography | The Giraffe Shed, Chloe Mary Photo | Maddie Farris Photography, Toni Searle Beauty

Step Five: Make It Personal (Not Performative)

The most memorable alternative weddings aren’t about shock value or Instagram moments; they’re about intentional choices and real emotions.

Ideas couples are loving right now:

- Celebrant-led wedding ceremonies

- Mixed‑gender or no wedding parties

- Outfit changes, suits, jumpsuits, or colour

- Fun entertainment throughout the day

- Late‑night parties instead of formal dinners

There’s no prize for being the most 'out there' or the 'coolest', just be you. And get support from your loved ones, delegate those jobs - they'd love to be involved! Make mate dates out of crafting, or wedding shopping, they build more memories for your wedding day.

Marilyn Denise Photography | Wedding Player One | The Shack Revolution, Dearest Love Photography

Real Alternative Weddings: Proof Is In The Pudding

One of the best ways to plan differently is to see real weddings from couples who’ve already done it, rather than getting unrealistic vibes from styled shoots on Pinterest (they are great for inspiration, but do not always work realistically for a functioning real wedding day). From backyard micro‑weddings to epic alternative wedding parties, real stories show what’s possible outside the mainstream. Here are a couple of examples: